My due date

Today is my due date for Paisley! It feels like the pregnancy ended so long ago and that God has healed my body so much since it has ended. Looking back on those crazy few days, and remembering how disappointed I was that I wasn't going to get my full term baby, I am just so grateful that God brought us through all of it, and that our lives are a testimony to His amazing love and grace. My pregnancy buddy Michelle was due two days after me (this coming tues). She was induced this past week as her doctor was expecting a very large baby. So the other day Paisley and I went to go meet Baby Genesys. She is 8lb 6oz, and seemed so much bigger than Paisley. Seeing how uncomfortable Michelle was, I am a little relieved that I didn't have to still be pregnant today :-) Michelle and I are hoping that Paisley and Genesys will be great friends. Paisley wasn't happy at all during our visit so she is screaming, and while there my friend who is also a lactation consultant pointed out that Paisley is tongue tied, which I already knew...

Medical Crisis and a new baby girl

Wow I am so very behind documenting what has been going on.... Last wednesday Aug 7th, in the middle of the night I woke with an excruciating headache. I took some Tylenol and tried to fall back asleep. Bright and early I called my mom and asked her to come over and check my blood pressure. It was significantly higher than it had been, but not critically high. I also checked my blood sugar at that point as well and found that to be very low too. I called the OB doctor and they had me come right in. When I got to the office, they checked my pressure and again it was a bit higher than it had been but it wasn't hypertensive yet. She sent me over to the maternity ward where they could monitor the baby and I. My blood pressure at that point was still ok. However they checked my liver enzymes and some other blood work and that is when things got scary. I was transferred via ambulance (lights and sirens, even though I begged them not to drive too fast) to Brigham and Womens Hospital in Boston. So Wednesday night they kept me on the labor and delivery floor, with the thoughts that they wanted to give the steroids (for her lungs) 48hrs total to work. I got the initial dose on Wednesday at 2pm. Wednesday night not a whole lot happened, they continued to check blood work every 2 hours, and vitals every 30minutes. It was a very long night. On Thursday morning my labs were really wacky but the doctors couldn't really determine what was causing me to be so sick. At that point they weren't sure if it was pre-eclampsia or something entirely different. I also had some metabolic changes that were very concerning to them as well. Excuse the HORRIBLE picture but this is for memory sake... The delivery story will be next...........

Doctors appointment

So I went back to the hospital today. And praise God all is looking well!!!! My blood pressure was great. Baby looked fantastic on the monitor. I am so very thankful. The contractions were less than on Friday. My heart rate is still off and I am waiting to hear back from the cardiologist but otherwise a fantastic appointment. We were told to just on doing what we are doing. A friend from work brought us dinner last night. Homemade ziti and meatsauce. It was so delicious. I think Preston had four servings! He LOVED it :-) And I am just so very thankful for such wonderful people in our lives that are taking care of us :-)

Playing catch up....

So had my appointment with all the high risk docs on 7/18, and essentially we are in a watch and wait period until something changes. Little Miss looked fantastic on the special ultrasound, and they are saying she is about 3 and a half pounds! Praise God. On Monday 7/22 I had another doctors appointment and non-stress test. She didn't look fantastic on the monitor but looked ok, it ended up being quite a long appointment but she eventually was reactive. Blood pressure was good too. On Wednesday 7/24 I got a very scary call from my cardiologist. She initially got on the phone and grilled me about how I was feeling and if I was having any chest pain, palpitations etc. She said my results weren't good, and that she had to call another cardiologist and would get right back to me. So apparently she called another cardiologist and he made a recommendation for changing the medication that I am on, however the new medication can be very dangerous for the baby. So essentially the conversation was to let them know immediately if I had any worsening symptoms and we would go from there, but to take it easy. On Thursday 7/25 I woke up feeling absolutely horrible. To the point where I was convinced I was getting very sick again:-( Praise God I wasn't! I did have some elevated blood pressures, and I did have protein in my urine which I hadn't had previously. But I was able to come home and was told to go to bed and stay there until I came back the next day.... On Friday I went back and my blood pressures were low! So praise God for that! The results of my 24 hour urine test weren't fantastic but they weren't terrible either. My liver tests and platelets are holding steady! So they again let me come home, saying "Go home and go to bed, don't get up until Monday when you come back." I did have a wonderful friend have a baby shower for me this weekend, and thankfully I begged to go to the shower and had a wonderful time but felt pretty yucky when I came back home and all day yesterday. Yesterday my mom came over at church and stayed for the whole day until after supper. She washed EVERY piece of dirty laundry and folded them and put them away. She also washed all of the bed linens including the blankets! Matt had taken the kids to a church picnic so I was able to really lay low yesterday and focus on growing this baby and spending some one on one time with my mom :-) Such a blessing! Sam had IVIG on Friday and he did fabulously. He had his friend with him and so they played the Wii and had a great morning/afternoon together, while I layed in the other bed until I had to go to the hospital. Thanks to Auntie Sara who stayed with Sammy until he was done. Another wonderful friend is organizing an army of help for me in these next few weeks! I just can't even believe how blessed I am. God is so good to me. He has put some absolutely amazing people in our lives. People are helping with childcare, cleaning, meals etc etc. So very blessed!!! I am headed back to the hospital in a little while. Please keep the baby and I in your prayers. I did unfortunately have some heart stuff going on this weekend and need to speak with the cardiologist this morning to see what the plan is.... On Saturday night I had palpitations but had been napping so when I woke I was sweaty and nauseous. Not completely sure what that means yet.

Pregnancy Update

Well praise God I made it to 30 weeks, at the rate things are going I may deliver sooner than we had hoped. I am so far behind in updating I am just going to do bullet points by date, just to get caught up.... So I had gone to the ER on June 29th. Two days later... 7/2/13 Was told to go to see cardiologist. I went and met her, and she was very nice. But very concerned with my history, as well as the fact that my mother had cardiomyopathy while pregnant. As well as multiple cardiac issues on my side of the family. My blood pressure was good. So she ordered echocardiogram (special ultrasound of my heart) as well as holter monitor. And increased the medication that the ER started to try to slow down my racing heart rate. 7/5 Labs were redrawn at the OB's office, due to the liver studies being off in the ER 7/8 On this date I received a phone call stating that my liver studies were significantly worse, actually worse than they were when they decided to deliver Preston! But due to some other symptoms that I had they were questioning something called "Cholestatis". This is a condition in which the bile acids build up in your blood. There is all kinds of risks associated with this. I also had my first non-stress test today. It was wonderful to hear this little one's heart beat so strong. I did have some elevated blood pressures at this visit, as well as this was the first visit that I had a large amount of ketones in my urine. 7/9 Preston had IVIG at Children's, and all went well, but no pics :-( 7/11 Had another NST test today. Baby continued to look good but I was also contracting fairly consistently. After the NST I went to the OB unit and had an appointment. At this point they informed me that I did have cholestasis, and told the risk of the baby dying. 7/12 Sent to a endocrinologist to try to figure out why so much ketones in my urine. Now having to monitor my blood sugars, four times a day :-( 7/13 Sam's 7th birthday! (I will write a post about it) 7/15 Echocardiogram: praise God this was normal!!!! Another NST, this time the baby didn't look as good as she had been on the monitor. Call placed to high risk obs.... Scheduled in depth ultrasound, and appointment with team of docs on 7/18 Here is an ultrasound pic of my sweet little miracle! I am relieved knowing that God has a plan for each of our lives and that His plan is perfect. Regardless of what the doctors say or think, regardless of what lab tests, and a variety of other tests show, God is in control of all of this!!! Praise God for His miracles! I look forward to holding this little one in my arms, as a testimony that against all odds God's will always prevails!!!

IVIG and more pregnancy issues

Unfortunately the unit where Sam gets his IVIG is closing soon. I am still so heartbroken about it. It has been so wonderful to go and have the same nurses always care for him in the same room, with the ability to have friends come and spend time with him during the infusion. I am still unsure of what we are going to do next because of the unit closing. This time we went and they got the IV right in and auntie Sara stayed with Sam while I dropped Preston and Sophia with mom as I had an OB appointment. Sam had a blast with auntie Sara, and P and Soph enjoyed their time with Meme and grandpa. My OB appointment didn't go as well as I had hoped that it would. The doctors are getting more and more concerned as am I. My blood pressure was fantastic which is such an answer to prayer. But now I am retaining fluid, and when the doctor reviewed the lab work from the ER, she realized that my liver function tests are already declining :-( She said I am so high risk and have so many issues that I am making them all nervous. And said that I need to call with ANY weird feeling that I have. We are now switching to twice a week visits with the doctor. I don't have any idea how I am going to fit that all in.... So I will go in on Monday, if not sooner. Please be praying that we can keep this little one in for at least six more weeks.

Cardiology

So after Saturday in the ER, yesterday I felt really kind of cruddy all day. I was waiting to feel better, for the medicine to kick in or something. I was told to call the OB as well as the cardiologist first thing Monday morning, as I wasn't feeling any better the cardiologist had me come in on Monday. She was very nice and listened to all that had been going on. Due to the past history with Preston and the heart stuff as well as my mom's history of cardiomyopathy, and now this being my fourth baby, I have lots and lots of risk factors for heart problems :-( It is so discouraging, to be eating right, and exercising, and doing all I can to try to make a healthy full term baby and to keep having more and more specialists tell me how my risks are so big :-( We will be doing an echocardiogram as well as holter monitoring and a few other things in the next week or so... She also increased the beta blocker that I am on, so hopefully that will decrease my heart rate. And an added bonus, it will also decrease my BP, which isn't really high yet but lets get it low so it never gets there... This week is kind of busy, lots of things going on, and hoping that I can get it all accomplished without another trip to the doctor...

A trip to the ER...

So I had to make a trip into the ER today. I initially contacted my primary care doctor and told her how I was feeling. She told me that I needed to contact my OB. When I called my OB she told me that I needed to go to the ER. SO I got the kids packed up and dropped off at the babysitter and then drove to the ER. When I got there they immediately took me right in, even though there was a waiting room full of people. I was so thankful. When they initially put me on the monitor my blood pressure was elevated, and my heart rate was very high. They did all the labs to make sure I wasn't developing pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome again. Praise God, as of right now I am not. My heart however is not liking being pregnant. It is working very hard, and too fast. They gave me some meds to decrease the heart rate, and I will be seeing a cardiologist on Tuesday. Uggh I am trying to not be discouraged but it is so hard. It has always been around 27 or 28 weeks that things start going wrong. As I will be 28 weeks tomorrow I am feeling so overwhelmed. I know that God is in control and that the outcome will be okay regardless, but I just wish it didn't have to be high risk and scary. :-( Please be praying that my heart can sustain this pregnancy for at least another 8weeks, and that no other issues develop. And please continue to pray that this little sweetie grows healthy and strong :-)

OB appointment

I had another OB appointment. I met another one of the doctors in the high risk practice where I am going to deliver. I feel so thankful to be able to be at this practice. I feel completely safe and comfortable with them. I will get the small community hospital feeling that I so desperately want, with the expertise of the Brigham and Women's Hospital high risk staff that I definitely need. This doctor was so kind, and I had a lengthy conversation with him about my fears and anxieties, as well as the weird discomfort that I have been having in the general vicinity of my liver. We discussed the delivery plan, and I asked if my mom would FINALLY be allowed to be at one of my deliveries. That is one of the things I am so saddened about with my prior deliveries... With Sam my mom was down helping out with the victims of Hurricane Katrina, she took an emergency flight home but arrived about half an hour after Sam was born. With Sophia my dad had a massive heart attack on the same day that I delivered. She again came shortly after Sophia was born. With Preston she wasn't allowed to be in the delivery room, but she was there. I have always always wanted her to be there when my babies were born, but sadly so far it hasn't happened. I am praying that all will work out and that she in fact be in the delivery room this time. The doctor said that as long as I am stable he doesn't seem to think that there will be a problem My blood pressure was good, and there was no protein or sugar in my urine. There are scheduling another ultrasound of the baby within the next two weeks, to make sure they got good views of everything. So I am waiting to hear when that will be. My weight is ok, I didn't lose any since the last time, and maintained so that is good. The sound of the baby's heart beat is just such a beautiful sound! I think God allows that sound to just remind us of His miraculous creation. The sound of a beating heart within a woman is just so miraculous. It just makes my heart swell when I hear it. Her heart beat was in the 140s today :-)

20weeks

Wow! It is surreal to think that I am already half way through this pregnancy. In all actually I am more than half way as they will deliver me at 36 weeks if I make it that far. I am feeling really ok, I am certainly exhausted ALL THE TIME but I think that might have something to do with three munchkins to care for as well. I am so very thankful that I have found a wonderful OB office and I feel so safe and comfortable with them. I haven't ever really felt "comfortable" since I almost died when I had Sam. My whole pregnancy with Sophia I felt like a ticking time bomb, waiting for everything to go wrong. With Preston I knew I was in the best possible place, but it was so far, and it was such a big practice etc etc. This time I have been seeing the same physician although I will be seeing a different one this next time. But with each visit they have been completely aware of my history and very keen on knowing exactly how I have been feeling. My blood pressures have been great, and they have been doing a ton of blood work. I don't know the results of this past weeks results yet, but they have all been fine prior, and the doctors will call with any changes. I have continued to lose weight, but it is starting to slow down. I started this evening with some right upper quadrant pain, which does certainly have me anxious. But I am praying and believing that it has nothing to due with my liver and that all is ok still.... I will wait it out at least through tomorrow unless it gets worse, and then will notify the doctor. At 20 weeks the baby is about ten inches long from head feet and is about 10 and a half ounces! It still amazes me about the miracle of life. If you think about 10ounces and you think about 10 inches, and then you think about all the organs and muscles and amazing things God created in there, it is hard to not be amazed. The baby is already producing meconium and practicing swallowing. It truly is a miracle of life :-) Psalm 139:13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

Baby Weber #4

Matt and I went to the perinatologist and talked all about all my risk factors, and how this pregnancy is going. We had a lengthy ultrasound and visit with both the high risk and regular OB doctors. We actually found out what this little munchkin is, but since they aren't quite 100% we aren't sharing it. But everything looks wonderful! I wish I was one of those people that went into an ultrasound and was so excited about it. But I am not :-( I am always so concerned that something is going to be wrong with the baby and this time was no exception. First I was concerned that there was no heartbeat, and then I was concerned that there was a cardiac or brain anomaly. As the ultrasound went on and on, I just kept thinking that the technician was seeing things wrong and needed to make sure she had good pictures of everything. I feel terrible because I know this anxiety is totally from the devil, and that God has not given me a spirit of fear. But I did struggle for a good portion of the ultrasound. But I am rejoicing in the fact that the baby looked wonderful on this ultrasound and that the size is perfect, even though I have continued to lose weight. MAN! I wish I could lose weight like this when I wasn't pregnant. I am not quite sure how to get a good picture of the ultrasound pictures, but here they are. There is a picture of the baby giving a thumbs up, one of the baby sucking the thumb, and then a picture of what looks to be a BIG foot! I have a foot picture of all of my baby's, so I was very excited to get this one too. So we would love to have a name that starts with the letter "P". Got any good ideas that you would like to share? For girls I don't like : Penelope, Priscilla, or Paige. For boys I don't like Peter, Paul, Parker, or Patrick. This letter is hard! But I am hopefully that we can find something :-) Can't believe I am already 19weeks! God is so amazing! I am so thankful that things are going smoothly. And praying that they continue

All kinds of news.....

First we heard back from Genetics, and the two different syndromes that they tested Preston for have come back negative! I am so thankful, I really didn't believe he had either one, but when the specialists are questioning it, it made me a little nervous. There really isn't anything else they can do as of right now. They said if he acquires any more diagnosis then to call them and let them know as it may trigger them to think of something else to test for. Otherwise we will return in a year, at which time they are hoping they will have more information to do the right type of testing. We also were told a bit back that Preston needed a fecal transplant, or that he would need to have his colon removed and have a permanent colostomy. So needless to say I have been struggling quite a bit with being anxious, even though I KNOW THAT IT WILL BE OK! I do know that it will be ok, I know that God's plans are sovereign and that no matter what the doctors say, that God is completely 100% in charge. But right now, I don't fully know what the answer to this situation is. I don't know what God's answer to my prayer is, I do know that He is encouraging me so much, so many people have reached out to us and have been praying for this sweet little guy of mine. We heard this past week that officially the health insurance has denied the transplant, and therefore the doctor has been talking about the colostomy again, so scary :-( Right now there is an investigational medication that they are using in adults to treat adults with this, so they are thinking about the possibility of trying it on Preston. I also have been doing my own research and have found a couple of doctors who are doing oral immunoglobulin therapy to treat it. So our wonderful pediatrician and our immunologist are researching those options. Please be praying for wisdom and patience for all people involved. And certainly that God's glory will be revealed in whatever the outcome will be :-) a I am now 17 weeks pregnant. Feeling ok, but HUGE! I am not really, and haven't gained back any of the weight I have lost from puking yet. I am officially wearing maternity pants/bottoms, but can still wear my regular shirts. I feel ok, extremely tired most of the time and nauseous a lot. My blood pressures have been good so far. My lab work has been great. I have seen high risk B already as well as the regular OB. I certainly didn't feel good when the high risk OB from Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston where they have over 1,000 births a year, said "I think I remember you, you were a very scary patient!" Yeah definitely didn't give me a good feeling :-( I know God is in control of this little miracle baby too, and I am praying fervently for a healthy full term baby with no complications :-)

Baby Weber #4...

I can't even begin to tell you how fun it was to actually video tape my mom's reaction to this new little blessing that God has blessed us with! Her reaction was absolutely priceless!!! I am so blessed to have a mom who is so loving and compassionate, so giving and kind. She wears her heart on her sleeve, and totally made me feel that she was beyond thrilled and excited for us. It was so wonderful to share this news with her and to get her reaction on film. And my dad too, he is not quite as demonstrative as mom, and essentially just said "wow" but you could see the joy in him. So so blessed. The kids were so excited too! It was fun watching Sam trying to figure out what Preston's shirt actually meant. And then when I showed them the ultrasound picture they were even more excited. As I have already been to high risk OB, and to the doctor and had a few ultrasounds already I have already been anxious and seeking God for His peace through this pregnancy. It is so hard to be positive and realize all the complications that I have had and in the medical community will probably have again. When I went to the high risk Ob, she said that I was "very scary", so not what you want to hear from a very educated, and specialized doctor who works at an amazing high risk hospital... But I am focusing on God and His blessing, He has given us this baby, and He will see us through. I would beg of you to please join us in prayer for this baby and for myself that God's glory will be revealed in the whole process. Our official due date is September 22, and we are 14 weeks along now.

Our BIG news....

We are expecting again! I still am kind of in shock about it at times. We have been saying for quite a while that Preston was our "grand finale" but God had better plans for us. We actually found out in january while Preston was sick and in the hospital. As you can imagine I was exceedingly nervous at that time, thinking about the possibility of another immunocompromised child, or just the sheer logistics of having another high risk pregnancy and all the fear/anxiety that comes along with it. So far things are going well. The high risk ob doc actually said I was a scary patient :-( Totally not something I really wanted the specialist to say, but I understand that I am very high risk and that I have had lots of complications in the past. I am trusting and placing my faith in God, knowing that He will be walking down this road with us. We actually had decided to keep it a secret until today, as it was Sophia's birthday and that way we could tell a majority of our family members in person. That plan however didn't work. My sisters that live up here both had to work, so they weren't there. And Matt's brothers family have an illness going through their house so they weren't there either. We had Preston wear a shirt that said "Big Bro Preston" on it. We had Sam actually read the shirt, and try to figure out what it meant. It was so cute to see the understanding come across Sophia and Sam's faces when they figured out what we were saying. My mom had the BEST REACTION ever! She was so excited and happy. I of course then started getting all these questions about my working and everything from her, she is so nervous and just wants happy and healthy for all of us. I will post pics tomorrow....

A thankful heart

God has really been speaking to my heart in the last month or so.... It has been so easy to get stressed out and anxious about all that is going on with this handsome little guy of mine....

But as I have kept giving him back to God and focusing on the blessing He has given us God keeps reminding me of the past two plus years... - when I was 19wks pregnant with Preston the doctor's words "the baby is not viable, so we will be saving you." And my Pastor just showing up in the midst of that situation and praying with me, and the peace God gave me... - the anxiety I had about the preganancy and being put on bedrest and not being able to work, and God allowing me to work until four days before P was born. -the computor that showed up on our door step when we were in desperate need of one, with no strings attached -when Sam got his eosinophilic colitis diagnosis, being so overwhelmed, and having an amazing friend start helping me with the research process of cooking for him, and then stocking some things in my freezer for him -the seemingly endless need of help with the kids when there are doctors appointments, IVIG, back issues, etc etc and there seems to always be someone available - the wonderful past year in which our Auntie TeeTee got to be with us unexpectedly.

-the finances have been tight and for some reason (GOD!) my MIL sent home a bag of treats with Matt one night after church. She had no idea that I was anxious because I didn't have snacks to pack in Sam's lunch for school the next day and couldnt get any groceries for two more days.... And she has continued to bless us with snacks! It has been so wonderful -I have been sad with my siblings moving away, sad that my kids wouldn't have all their aunts and uncles around, but I am praising God that He has filled that need with some wonderful Christian aunties and uncles to love and cherish these miracles of mine. -for the love and support that so many friends and family have shown us over and over and over again. I have really struggled as a mom with all we have gone through with Preston. It has been so overwhelming going down this road with another child, and realizing I just can't do it. But in every circumstance God has responded that I don't have to and that He will. He has answered prayers before I have uttered them, He has provided before I knew there was a need, He has blessed in amazing ways. As we continue on this journey with our sick boys, I am reminded over and over and over again of God's love for us, and for His provision in our lives. Even this past august when I hurt my back at work again, I was so upset and frustrated when I started going through the pain and discomfort and inability to care for my kids. The finances are getting tighter. But if I hadn't come out of work then it would have been much more difficult with Preston in the hospital. I feel like this past couple of years has been a true testimony to the song that Laura Story wrote called "Blessing." One of my favorite verses states: "Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops What if Your healing comes through tears What if a thousand sleepless nights Are what it takes to know You're near What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise" This verse speaks to our life right now. We have had lots of tears, and TONS of sleepless nights:-), but in each and every situation God has shown Himself, in new ways. I am thankful for these trials, for the faith that I am gaining because of them, for the faith my children are gaining because of them. God is carrying us through these life situations and there is no place I would rather be.

Immunology update..... and world prematurity day

So we have gotten multiple things back for Preston's testing. Although I have expected it since he got meningitis, it is still a little overwhelming to actually hear it officially that I have another child that has some level of immunodeficiency. At this point we know that IgG levels are low, we don't have the other immunoglobulin levels back yet, however last month the IgA and IgM were low as well. He also has not mounted a decent response to some of his vaccines which is certainly scary to me. We are also awaiting his T cell and B cell counts. His immunologist already had me do the consent for IVIG, and since we have already been down this road before I know what we are in for. But at this stage of the game I am feeling overwhelmed. I absolutely know without a doubt that God is completely in control of this situation, and He is the author of this book, He knows each and every chapter and page, He has the perfect ending planned. Who I am to question it? So today I am just trying to focus on the knowledge that God's plan is absolutely perfect and that He has got this in His hands. Today is also World Prematurity day. This is something near and dear to my heart. I longed for full term healthy babies that came home with me on the day of my discharge, I unfortunately was not allowed that. But I was allowed to witness God's most innocent creation thrive and grow. As a nurse I have taken care of micropreemies, and delivered preemies, and as a mom I have taken care of my three little preemies. There are so many misconceptions and thoughts about what causes prematurity. There are people out there that think that the mom didn't care for herself well enough, or that she was doing things wrong. But in all actuality perfectly healthy people have complication filled pregnancies and we don't know why. I am a healthy person, but cannot carry a pregnancy to term. With each of my pregnancies I started contracting around 26 weeks, but praise God He kept my precious miracles in for longer. Tonight I ask you to pray for all preemies and for their families, caretakes, and anyone who has any contact with them, around the world for their health, and for organizations like the March of Dimes to continue to strive towards ending this terrible heartache of babies born too soon. For now I leave you with a picture of each of my tiny little miracles, Sam, then Sophia and then Preston. And then I will end with a picture of Sam at the age of 13.5 months when we first started IVIG. Preston will likely be about fifteen months when we start him I think....

And here is Sam's first adventure with IVIG. Wow he was such a ham!!! :-) I am praying that Preston will also be able to easily tolerate the IV attempts, the side affects, the being unable to get around much because of the IV, etc. I am praying for our nurses and staff. God's got this! We will set up the official start day the monday after thanksgiving.

Admitted:-(

Here I sit in the hospital again.:-( To say that I am frustrated would be the understatement of the year. Sammy's first day of school is on wednesday and I am going to miss it. I feel like I am failing him. They are working me up for HELLP Syndrome again. I am not quite sure what the plan is. Although the docs have said that they don't think I will leave her pregnant. So as I am 34.3wks pregnant, I am either here a long time, or am leaving Baby Surprise behind in the NICU when I go home. Either scenario isn't making me very happy/ Please pray for Baby surprise and for myself.
Pray for my kids as they are bounced around and moved here theree and everywhere. And for my friends/family that are being so amazing in this tiem. Thank you!!!

Please Pray

Just wanted to ask for your prayers for anyone on the eastern sea board of the US during this crazy Hurricane Irene. Pray for safety for the people and for protection and minimal or no damage. We will probably get hit sunday but it should be downgraded to a tropical storm instead of a hurricane. Praying praying!!!
Can you believe I am 34 weeks? I am feeling so blessed and grateful. I know that God has had His hand on this pregnancy the whole time, but I am just so very grateful to be here and still doing so well.:-)

NST and VBS pics

Where is the time going this week? I can't even keep up. So on monday I went back into the hospital for another non-stress test, and of course Baby Surprise didn't pass the test so I then had to have a biophysical profile. Of course I am trying so desperately not to panic with all of this that is going on. Unfortunately working in the medical field, and also remembering how my sister's little baby RJ died when she was 38wks pregnant after a few weeks of non-reactive non-stress tests is making me crazy. I keep trying to keep my focus on God, and the realization that His plan is always perfect. I have prayed that this baby would be a testimony to Him so that is truly what he/she will be:-) But please pray for Baby Surprise, for me for my anxiety and fear and that I will be able to truly rest in Him, and for the doctors/nurses that are caring for us.
So last week was VBS at our church. The theme was "Pandamania- where God is wild about you!" My kids had an absolute blast. There were 246 kids that came through our church!!! Praise God for that:-) I unfortunately don't have tons of pics because I was helping out and working in Sophia's class but here are a few of the kids...

BPP and NST

Went into the hospital for the biophysical profile. The whole test/ultrasound was about 50minutes as they were testing multiple things with baby surprise. 3 parts of the test were perfect, but the fourth and final test, which is whether or not the baby is practicing breathing while inside, the baby did not pass. The baby has to attempt to breath for 30 seconds, and the most our little munchkin did was less than 5. So from there I ended going over to have a non-stress test.
During the non-stress test I am placed on a monitor, that monitors the baby's heart rate and my contraction pattern. The point of this test is to see how the baby is doing in a non-stressful situation. So to have a reactive Non-stress Test (NST) you must have two accelerations of the baby's heart rate above its baseline that last 15 seconds. Unfortunately the baby struggled to pass this test too. They eventually said that I could go home, but that I needed to really pay attention to the baby this weekend and make sure it was moving as much as normal.
Because of the difficulty with the BPP we had an actual 4D ultrasound. This was amazing. It was videotaping the baby. Unfortunately a picture of a picture doesn't do what I saw justice but I will share anyways. Isn't God amazing??? The miracle of creation is just so awe inspiring