Spinal Tap:-(

Preston had a fever yesterday. I called his primary and she had me bring him to the ER last night. We spent the whole night in the emergency room and didn't get admitted to the pediatrics ward until about five AM. It took four attempts for the IV, two attempts for blood. On admission his weight was 8lb11oz although not a naked weight.
All day he has been pretty sleepy with periods of irritability. He has been nursing less well today. He ended up having to have a spinal tap today. You know I have assisted with many over the years, and thought I knew how awful it was for parents, because I always compared it to things we have gone through with Sam. But this was AWFUL! I was an emotional mess. Thankfully they were successful on the first attempt. God was guiding the doctor and we got it done. Unfortunately there is white blood cells in the spinal fluid, so they are treating like he has meningitis:-(
I know God is sovereign, I know He is here with me in this trial, but honestly I don't want to go down this road. I know God is going to see us through this, but it is SO HARD. I am surrounded by amazing people who are praying and supporting us, but I just want to be home with my whole family.