Admitted:-(

Here I sit in the hospital again.:-( To say that I am frustrated would be the understatement of the year. Sammy's first day of school is on wednesday and I am going to miss it. I feel like I am failing him. They are working me up for HELLP Syndrome again. I am not quite sure what the plan is. Although the docs have said that they don't think I will leave her pregnant. So as I am 34.3wks pregnant, I am either here a long time, or am leaving Baby Surprise behind in the NICU when I go home. Either scenario isn't making me very happy/ Please pray for Baby surprise and for myself.
Pray for my kids as they are bounced around and moved here theree and everywhere. And for my friends/family that are being so amazing in this tiem. Thank you!!!

Please Pray

Just wanted to ask for your prayers for anyone on the eastern sea board of the US during this crazy Hurricane Irene. Pray for safety for the people and for protection and minimal or no damage. We will probably get hit sunday but it should be downgraded to a tropical storm instead of a hurricane. Praying praying!!!
Can you believe I am 34 weeks? I am feeling so blessed and grateful. I know that God has had His hand on this pregnancy the whole time, but I am just so very grateful to be here and still doing so well.:-)

NST and VBS pics

Where is the time going this week? I can't even keep up. So on monday I went back into the hospital for another non-stress test, and of course Baby Surprise didn't pass the test so I then had to have a biophysical profile. Of course I am trying so desperately not to panic with all of this that is going on. Unfortunately working in the medical field, and also remembering how my sister's little baby RJ died when she was 38wks pregnant after a few weeks of non-reactive non-stress tests is making me crazy. I keep trying to keep my focus on God, and the realization that His plan is always perfect. I have prayed that this baby would be a testimony to Him so that is truly what he/she will be:-) But please pray for Baby Surprise, for me for my anxiety and fear and that I will be able to truly rest in Him, and for the doctors/nurses that are caring for us.
So last week was VBS at our church. The theme was "Pandamania- where God is wild about you!" My kids had an absolute blast. There were 246 kids that came through our church!!! Praise God for that:-) I unfortunately don't have tons of pics because I was helping out and working in Sophia's class but here are a few of the kids...

BPP and NST

Went into the hospital for the biophysical profile. The whole test/ultrasound was about 50minutes as they were testing multiple things with baby surprise. 3 parts of the test were perfect, but the fourth and final test, which is whether or not the baby is practicing breathing while inside, the baby did not pass. The baby has to attempt to breath for 30 seconds, and the most our little munchkin did was less than 5. So from there I ended going over to have a non-stress test.
During the non-stress test I am placed on a monitor, that monitors the baby's heart rate and my contraction pattern. The point of this test is to see how the baby is doing in a non-stressful situation. So to have a reactive Non-stress Test (NST) you must have two accelerations of the baby's heart rate above its baseline that last 15 seconds. Unfortunately the baby struggled to pass this test too. They eventually said that I could go home, but that I needed to really pay attention to the baby this weekend and make sure it was moving as much as normal.
Because of the difficulty with the BPP we had an actual 4D ultrasound. This was amazing. It was videotaping the baby. Unfortunately a picture of a picture doesn't do what I saw justice but I will share anyways. Isn't God amazing??? The miracle of creation is just so awe inspiring

BPP tomorrow:-)

I have the biophysical profile tomorrow for Baby Surprise! I am excited to see how well he/she is doing and to see how big Baby is. I can't believe I will be 33weeks tomorrow!!! I am just feeling so incredibly blessed and thankful that God has carried us so far beyond my expectations. God is using this situation to grow my faith and I am so thankful. It is amazing to see God working in situations that seem so hard and scary at times.
Last night I was tremendously blessed by two women who came over and brought me a "prayer shawl" It is really more of a lap blanket. And is beautiful. This blanket has been prayed over by many, and is a reminder to me that people are constantly praying and lifting Baby Surprise and I up in prayer. Isn't that wonderful??? I need to learn how to knit so that I can be praying for someone and sharing this amazing blessing with another person going through a trial.
In other news I think Sammy's ear infection is back:-( Poor little guy has been fairly irritable all week and exceedingly whiny, for the last two days I have said hmmm I wonder if he is getting sick, and then of course tonight he starts complaining that his ear is hurting. Please be praying for him. I will be bringing him to see the doctor first thing in the morning.

Non-stress test

Had to go in today for my first non-stress test. It essentially is a test to determine how well the baby is doing in utero, and since I have started on cardiac medicine as well as medicine for my liver they need to keep a close eye on this baby. The NP told me today that there is an increased risk of still birth with the cholestasis so they will really be keeping a close eye on me. The baby looked good on the monitor today. The heart beat was in the 140s. I was however contracting so they were concerned about preterm labor. I am a fingertip dilated, but still pretty long and thick still so praying the cervix makes no further changes for a few weeks.
I go back on friday for a biophysical profile, which is an ultrasound to check the baby's well being....The kids are at VBS at our church this week. Hoping to get some pics tomorrow. They are having a blast

Thankful

So I called my friend Meg and shared all my stress and anxiety with her about this new complication. She invited the kids and I swimming and was such an amazing support. I have been so blessed by Meg, over and over again. And through MEg have met another amazing woman named Timpany. Between the two of them, they are comforting and consoling, and totally letting me lean on them. It is so nice to be able to let my guard down for a few minutes and admit how nervous I am, and to be supported through those feelings. Thanks ladies! You both are answered prayers for me,
While we chit chatted the kiddos had a blast with Meg and Timpany's kids. They did lots of swimming, sand castle building, and eating:-) Here are a few pics, I certainly have been slacking in the photo department lately.

Not sure if you have heard this song before or not, but it speaks so loud and clear to me about this time in my life and what God has for me. We may not understand the struggles we have, and it is so easy to get discouraged and frustrated, but in the end God's will prevails, and what He has is always a blessing. This is Laura Story's song "Blessings"

Really?!?! Another complication???

Excuse me while I through myself a little pity party:-( I am feeling so overwhelmed and sad right now. I was told by the cardiologist that I have SVT (supraventricular tachycardia) this week and started on medication for that to keep my heart from racing like crazy. I have passed out a few times, and have generally been feeling pretty crummy.
And then today I got the diagnosis of cholestasis. Essentially what this means is that my liver is producing bile that is overflowing into my blood stream. This isn't really a bad thing for me, except that it causes severe itching and can cause some difficulty absorbing vitamins. But for the baby it can be severe. The bile can build up in the baby and cause liver damage, but there is also a high risk of fetal death! So I will be going in twice a week (AT LEAST) for more monitoring, and keeping close tabs on the baby. But I am so anxious. Since my sister's baby died when she was 38wks pregnant, and they don't know why this is hitting really close to home for me. When the nurse was giving me the info this morning, she said "Did the doctor talk about delivering you early?" And my response was "No but I have delivered my other two at 35wks." Her response was it will be earlier than that....So here we are in limbo again, waiting for a crisis and I really just wanted things to go smoothly!!!
And of course my husband is stressing out about the financial part, which I understand is important too but I just wish that some comforting and supporting could be done first:-( Just feeling sad and down in the dumps:-(

This little boy of mine....

CANNOT WAIT to be a big brother again! He is constantly wanting to hold and snuggle babies whenever the opportunity arises. This is my friend Felicia's baby, Asa. He is one of the smiliest baby's ever. Sam was dancing for him, clapping, telling him stories, etc and Baby Asa just smiled and smiled. Sam was in heaven. Sammy keeps asking for our baby to come out so he can play with him or her:-) But prayerfully we have a few more weeks to go....

Cardiology and OB update

I followed up with the cardiologist today at Brigham. They are so wonderful there. Unfortunately they have still not received all of my results from the testing they have done, but Dr Pande is pretty sure that I am flipping in and out of SVT (supraventricular tachycardia) and due to the fact that I am now symptomatic with it she has started me on medication for it. I will start in the morning, but honestly I am anxious about it as it could lower Baby Surprise's heartrate:-(
I had an ultrasound and biophysical profile for baby surprise today. A BPP is a test they use to see how well the baby is doing in several areas in utero. So the maximum score that the baby can get is 8 out of 8, and that is what our little munchkin scored:-) Praise God!!! It was quite a long ultrasound as they did all the little scoring parts, and I was able to watch him/her open and close hands, practice swallowing, and all kinds of wiggling:-) LOVE IT!!! We didn't get a fetal weight today but he/she certainly looks bigger. The OB said that I should stop working so much but didn't write me a note so I am not sure how that will go over with my boss. She also said that they would probably pull me out of work at my next visit....

IVIG

Sam had his IVIG today. It was one day late as I forgot to order it last week:-( Kind of thinking I will blame it on my preggo brain:-) It took two attempts for the IV, and then another stick for the labs:-( Of course my super Sam took it like a champ and didn't even cry. He was adament however about who held him while they did it. He did not want the phlebotomist to hold his hand at all.Sometimes being a nurse/mom with a sick kid is rough, and other times a blessing. I really don't like to be the one that holds him while they poke at him. All in all it went so well. We had one of our favorite nurses, and she brought a Wii game from her house for him to play, so that just made his whole day:-) Such a trooper.... We did labs today as well. I haven't gotten the results, I am curious to see where his IgG levels are since we haven't checked them in several months and he has been actually gaining weight well lately. He weighed in at 41.6lbs today!!! And was 43.5inches tall! He is getting so big:-)

31 weeks and preggo pics

I made it to 31 weeks!!! And still going... Been contracting more this week and have now started with itching but praying that it is nothing. A wonderful friend took some maternity photos yesterday for me. Here is some previews, aren't they amazing?

Ear Infection

Since I worked all weekend I didn't really see the kids at all on saturday, and then yesterday when I woke up I noticed that Sam had a lot of drainage coming out of his right ear. I started to clean it up and it was so gross, I said something about it, and he then responded that it was much worse the day before. So I cleaned it all up, and then it didn't seem to drain anymore.
I did call the doctors office this morning, completely unconcerned as someone had just looked at his ears on thursday! He didn't have pain and didn't have a fever so I just wanted to let them know but wasn't thinking anything of it, since the drainage wasn't pussy. But of course with his immune system issues they wanted to see him right away. He has a pretty nasty ear infection. I guess the honeymoon phase of no antibiotics has worn off. He has done so amazingly well since the tonsil/adenoid as well as tube placement. He hasn't needed antibiotics since then. In the grand scheme of things we could be dealing with the another nightmare sinus infection, so this is so minor, but it has been so nice to not deal with antibiotics in so long. Now our prayer will be that it doesn't cause an increase in his GI symptoms, most specifically C. Diff.